Pascale, Professional Coach and partner of e-TellYou, shares with us the support she provided to a person with cancer. She brings us here with great delicacy and humanity her last moments of life with a need to express and share with those close to her the essential, which really matters.
A Testimony of Marie France, whose name will remain secret in accordance with her wish. Suffering from general cancer at the age of 41, she decides to prepare this path and for this, to be accompanied by a professional in this process. She contacts me for this purpose.
Since the start of her illness, Marie France, nurse, mother of three children, two older teenagers, and a small baby. She knew full well that time was running out, approximately two years to prepare for this departure.
It is really very short and at the same time a long time to contemplate his death … and to help others accept it.
Catholic, she believed in God, but without having delved too deeply into the question.
His initial objective was to be able to support his loved ones in the face of this situation and to leave each one a special testimony.
- Her baby
So that he would remember all the love she had for him, sharing with him as it had been difficult for him to leave, sharing with him his deep values, which led his life.
But at 18 months, we cannot understand this lack, this emptiness. It was agreed that it would be long after the child opened his letter, as a teenager, and found this correspondence maintained throughout the illness to express his feelings.
- Her young adult children , totally refusing this departure, to bring sweetness through rituals proposed for “after” that made sense for her, and she hoped for them.
I remember the ritual proposed to stay in touch, which consisted in bringing him small bouquets of violets on his grave.
I can testify that her daughter clung to this “ritual” after she left, giving a little countenance, color, meaning to emptiness, to absence.
She also wished to bring her vision of Life to encourage them to Live fully, to realize themselves, to be happy.
It was through writing that she wanted to accompany them and we put the words together.
- Her husband who could not accept the illness, was so clumsy. So she chose writing again to leave him a special testimony of what she would want for him, and for his family.
She also wanted to express feelings that were close to her heart, to free herself.
Marie France therefore applied herself to writing several essential messages on different dates according to the recipients.
It was all to accompany others. As a nurse, Marie France had the art of taking care of others. Much less of it.
Her main, yet totally unexpected, goal was to take care of her.
Settling down with someone outside the family, and a support professional, allowed her to cope with her illness. There were saying, laughing, crying, shared silences, compassion and also things to do to open the heart and let go with your mind.
Fully welcome this time of inner journey to make it a time chosen and not suffered. To be a standing woman, free of choice in an unselected space. Accept that you are not always strong and let others help her.
To be here and now more than ever .. Stretch time, breathe it, savor it. By the 5 senses.
View with as much serenity as possible your departure into the unknown.
We thus walked 18 months, at her place, but also in the gardens of the hospital where she was following her treatment, then in her room when she could no longer go out, then in her last moments when she had a presentiment of the end. , with astonishing serenity.
I have accompanied her professionally, as she has also accompanied me humanely in exploring this reality. May this article pay tribute to his strength and gentleness.
With each accompaniment, another 30 years later, Marie France’s smile forms a backdrop, an image so confident that strengthens me in my work.
What to remember from this approach? It really allows you to open your heart to this stranger to tame him and gain serenity.
It allows you to tell your loved ones what matters, and thus lift the famous painful family secrets for those who remain after.
It allows you to get to know each other, to visit old hidden feelings, to lighten your heart, and to share beautiful moments of deep joy.
Pascale, Professional Coach and partner of e-TellYou.