I’ve wanted to write this letter to you for a long time and now that I’m in front of my blank sheet of paper I don’t know where to start.
Since I know I have this horrible disease, I try not to tell you my fears, my fears….
In fact, what scares me the most is not to leave but to no longer be me, to no longer be the man who has accompanied you throughout these beautiful years, c is to get away from you because I will no longer be able to recognize your face, it is to no longer be able to take care of you and protect you.
Soon, this disease will have created a distance, a yawning chasm between the two of us.
I do not know where my mind will be, where it will wander, you will only have my old body as a husband….
I will only be a burden and I hope that this period will be as short as possible so as not to inflict my decrepitude on you. This prospect of forfeiture makes me suffer….
But as long as I can see your smile when I wake up and say your sweet name to wish you good night, I will and I have to resist this despair to share with you the most serene moments possible again.
When you receive this letter, I will no longer be of this world…. my body will have breathed its last and my mind may be long gone.
You know, it has always been difficult for me to talk about my feelings and my emotions out of modesty …. however, it is essential for me that you know all this love that has carried me since the day I have you encountered.
I have been a fulfilled man living by your side and I have never regretted the day I proposed to you. We had beautiful children and over the days, we have built our happiness.
Life has not been easy for both of us, we have been through a lot and at times I did not feel up to what you had come to expect. We managed to get out despite everything and little by little we felt stronger and more united and still just as much in love.
Now you are going through this ordeal and I am no longer here to wipe away the tears that pearl on your face…
I don’t want your grief to keep you from living …
Please, you who can still see the sun rise, hear the laughter of children, smell the sweet scents of the garden, observe the return of spring, listen to the wind in the trees, enjoy, enjoy all these beautiful things in life, enjoy it for both of us.
If there is something after, as you are sure, be sure that I will watch over you from up there ….
I just ask you to keep my love alive in the bottom of your heart and above all do not prevent you from being happy.